-
Info For Parents
-
About The Books
-
Reviews
-
Media
-
Family Anxiety Assessment
<
>
Dear Parents, Step-parents, Grandparents, Caregivers and Whanau
Any kind of anxiety can have an impact on children’s development. An influx of adrenalin in response to stress can mean that their brains are unable to settle into learning or be able to moderate their behaviour. Stressed children often come from stressed families, and parents who are stressed cannot settle enough to attend well to their children either. When you are a parent it is your job to nurture, love, teach and guide your children. Be BIGGER, STRONGER, WISER and MORE PATIENT. It is important that children know that their adults are in charge of their world. If you are worried about the world and feeling out of control, it is harder for your children to feel safe. We don’t have to be perfect parents, just good enough. Sometimes, the adjustments we make as parents because of the worry we feel, become comfortable. We don’t want to stop them. This is called “accommodation”. We have accommodated our behaviours and the way we live, to the worries. We feel better if we are constantly checking that our kids are safe, or sleeping with them, or not leaving them…However, there comes a time when we need to put these adjustments aside, because the adjustments in themselves begin to cause problems. The exercises in our books for families 'Maia & the Worry Bug' and 'Rising Tide' are for you as much as for your children. If you engage with them, you may find some ways to lessen your own anxiety. When you do this, anxiety in the family will be lessened. If the children know that you have ways to manage the anxiety as a family, they will be freed up to do normal childhood things like going to school, making and keeping friends and learning new skills. Warmest regards, Julie Burgess-Manning and Sarina Dickson |
Maia & the Worry Bug, written by Julie Burgess-Manning, illustrated by Jenny Cooper
Māia rāua ko te Ngārara Pāwera, written by Julie Burgess-Manning, translated by Kaharau Keogh, illustrated by Jenny Cooper
Something terrible has happened to Maia’s family, an uninvited Worry Bug has moved in. Having the Worry Bug around is exhausting, and it keeps getting bigger! Can the family work together to get rid of it?
This resource is designed to help families with mild to moderate anxiety manage their worries. After reading the story with your children you will find exercises based on Narrative and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy principles to help you start talking about worry in your family.
This is part two of a two part resource. Part one is a classroom based book, 'Wishes and Worries', consisting of a story and exercises introducing ways to manage anxiety at school.
Julie Burgess-Manning- PGDip PP, MSc (FamTher), PG CertED, BA Hons (Psych)
Julie Burgess-Manning is a Family Therapist and NZ Registered Psychologist who has studied and practiced in England and throughout New Zealand. She has worked in a variety of child, adolescent and family mental health settings for the past 18 years, with roles such as Senior Clinician, Therapist, Clinical Supervisor and Primary Mental Healthcare Liaison.
Julie is the Deputy Chairperson of the Family and Systemic Therapies Association of Aotearoa New Zealand, (FSTAANZ) and serves on the Executive Committee of the same. Julie lives in Christchurch with her husband and three children.
Jenny Cooper is a freelance illustrator and has been so for the past fifteen years. Jenny Cooper grew up in Wellington but trained in Christchurch Polytechnic as a graphic designer. Her first job, at Canterbury Museum, was weaving flax kete, rain capes, and piu piu.
Initially working as Jenny Lautisi (her Samoan married name), she was still a student when her first book, The Birthday Party (Wendy Pye, 1991), was published. She has worked freelance since 1998, interspersing illustration for junior fiction with illustration for educational books and trade publishing. She tutors on occasion at the University of Canterbury and Christchurch Polytechnic.
Kaharau Keogh-Ngāpuhi, Ngāti Maniapoto, Ngāti Tara
Kaharau is a student and tutor in Māori Studies at Otago University. He has excelled in education and Kapa Haka and was the 2014 Sir Edmund Hilary Scholar. He is passionate about all things Māori, particularly Māori language revitalisation and Kapa Haka and has appeared in several Māori Television shows as co-host andLead Voice-over.
Māia rāua ko te Ngārara Pāwera, written by Julie Burgess-Manning, translated by Kaharau Keogh, illustrated by Jenny Cooper
Something terrible has happened to Maia’s family, an uninvited Worry Bug has moved in. Having the Worry Bug around is exhausting, and it keeps getting bigger! Can the family work together to get rid of it?
This resource is designed to help families with mild to moderate anxiety manage their worries. After reading the story with your children you will find exercises based on Narrative and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy principles to help you start talking about worry in your family.
This is part two of a two part resource. Part one is a classroom based book, 'Wishes and Worries', consisting of a story and exercises introducing ways to manage anxiety at school.
Julie Burgess-Manning- PGDip PP, MSc (FamTher), PG CertED, BA Hons (Psych)
Julie Burgess-Manning is a Family Therapist and NZ Registered Psychologist who has studied and practiced in England and throughout New Zealand. She has worked in a variety of child, adolescent and family mental health settings for the past 18 years, with roles such as Senior Clinician, Therapist, Clinical Supervisor and Primary Mental Healthcare Liaison.
Julie is the Deputy Chairperson of the Family and Systemic Therapies Association of Aotearoa New Zealand, (FSTAANZ) and serves on the Executive Committee of the same. Julie lives in Christchurch with her husband and three children.
Jenny Cooper is a freelance illustrator and has been so for the past fifteen years. Jenny Cooper grew up in Wellington but trained in Christchurch Polytechnic as a graphic designer. Her first job, at Canterbury Museum, was weaving flax kete, rain capes, and piu piu.
Initially working as Jenny Lautisi (her Samoan married name), she was still a student when her first book, The Birthday Party (Wendy Pye, 1991), was published. She has worked freelance since 1998, interspersing illustration for junior fiction with illustration for educational books and trade publishing. She tutors on occasion at the University of Canterbury and Christchurch Polytechnic.
Kaharau Keogh-Ngāpuhi, Ngāti Maniapoto, Ngāti Tara
Kaharau is a student and tutor in Māori Studies at Otago University. He has excelled in education and Kapa Haka and was the 2014 Sir Edmund Hilary Scholar. He is passionate about all things Māori, particularly Māori language revitalisation and Kapa Haka and has appeared in several Māori Television shows as co-host andLead Voice-over.
Mental Health Foundation New Zealand
Maia and the Worry Bug
Burgess-Manning, J. (2015). Kotuku Creative
Reviewed by Kate Cherven, Programme Engagement Specialist at the Mental Health Foundation.
Maia and the Worry Bug is a story and resource book to help families experiencing mild to moderate anxiety manage their worries and understand anxiety better.
The book focuses on the affect the Christchurch earthquakes had on families and the anxiety and change they brought about. But I think the book would be beneficial to any family that is experiencing any kind of difficulties that come with change.
It’s a colourful book with exciting animations that will keep the attention of young kids. I think it’s a lovely story that can help give kids the words they might need in order to explain if, and when, they are feeling anxious, or when they notice their parents have become anxious.
Being American, I think this book would have been wonderful for many parents after the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001.
Toolbox helps families open up
I really enjoyed the family anxiety toolbox at the end of the book for families to see where their stress levels are and how to find ways to open up and talk about their worries.
The toolbox provides a space for families to write down their worries and ask questions like, “What does dad think mum’s worries are?” to help open up conversations for parents and kids to really understand what anxieties they have.
This book also provides space to write down all those worries and lock them away. “This is a way to stop worries from intruding all day long.”
I think this is a lovely book and I plan to get two copies for my nieces and my sisters in the United States.
Dorothy Nada Blog
Maia and the Worry Bug
Burgess-Manning, J. (2015). Kotuku Creative
My beautiful Miss Pink is 6 years old. She is an imaginative and funny little pixie of a child. She has a laugh that you can’t help but laugh along with and a wicked sense of humour. She makes me laugh every day. She loves music, and lives with a magic inside her being which firmly steals the hearts of all who know her and make her a bit of a favourite everywhere she goes.
For all her confidence and strength, she is also an anxious soul. Her anxiety manifests in a few different ways, and often sneaks up on us. We’ve spent a lot of time talking about it over the years and building some strategies that she can work with to help her when she’s feeling anxious. One of the ways that really helps Miss Pink is to have books that she can read to help her understand what anxiety means and to remind her about her strategies.
We were incredibly lucky to be sent copies of Maia and the Worry Bug and Wishes and Worries by the lovely crew at Kotuku Creative. These resources were created in the aftermath of the Christchurch earthquakes to help families who were dealing with anxiety in their homes. While Maia and The Worry Bug (available in te reo here) is designed to be used at home, Wishes and Worries (also available in te reo) is designed for school use. Both books have a lovely story as well as exercises and activities that can be done at home and school to help with anxiety. While the books were written about the Christchurch earthquakes, they are not solely intended for use in Christchurch.
I passed Wishes and Worries on to Miss Pink’s teacher who has read it to the class and used some of the activities to talk about worries with her class. We have read Maia and the Worry Bug at home and it is wonderful – being able to visualise her anxieties as Worry Bugs has helped so much, and we have incorporated this as our main anxiety strategy in our house now. I have been amazed at how much this book has helped Miss Pink in such a short amount of time.
As a counsellor, I have seen how useful it is for children in particular to be able to imagine their anxiety as something external to themselves – children are quick to feel like their quirks make them different to their friends, and it’s a short step from there to believing that there is something wrong with them. For Miss Pink, being able to visualise her anxiety as the worry bug has helped her immeasurably. Her anxiety isn’t gone, but it is manageable and seems to be lessening. I love that the stories have helped her so much, and that there are concrete ideas included on how I can help her! It’s heartbreaking to see your child so anxious and I am thrilled with how much The Worry Bug has helped in our house.
Review by Bob Docherty of Bob's Books 03-03-2016 https://bobsbooksnz.wordpress.com/
Maia & the Worry Bug, Wishes and Worries by Sarina Dickson and Julie Burgess-Manning, Illus. Jenny Cooper. Pub. Kotuku Creative, 2015.
Both these books form part of an anxiety management resource for the home and for the school. They were conceived because children and adults getting stressed and anxious by the Canterbury Earthquakes.
Of course they have wider application than that. Everybody has worries that can be dealt with in the ways described by these two books.
Much has been written and discussed about worrying and anxiety as lately as the Rugby World Cup when Steve Hansen described Worry as a wasted emotion. So it is but it doesn’t stop people worrying.
The facts are that worrying cause children and adults to perform and function below what they are capable of if they were not distracted by worries. My mother always said Que Sera Sera what ever will be will be and others have said you cant worry about things out of your control.
In Maia and The Worry Bug , worry is personified as a bug that can be removed like any other bug and in Wishes and Worries worries are scene as something you recognise and put in a place where they can be changed for the positive.
Good advice and a programe and suggestions of how to manage worries in the home and school. Two books well worth having.
Jenny Coopers illustrations in both books are perceptive and relevant. The facial expressions of the characters say it all.
PEER REVIEW: JUNIOR BOOKS OCTOBER 2015 New Zealand Book Council06-10-2015
Reviews by Librarians, Teachers and Principals of the latest New Zealand books for junior readers
Maia and the Worry Bug
Julie Burgess-Manning, Illustration: Jenny Cooper
Reviewer: Teresa Maguire, Team Leader Years 1-2, Miramar North School
This book has been created in response to the anxieties found in young children following the Christchurch earthquakes. It tells the story of Maia and her family and the appearance of a ‘worry bug’ who comes to stay and causes anxiety amongst all the family members. Mum worries about the family’s safety and fastens furniture to the wall, Dad checks on the family’s emergency supplies and Maia worries so much she feels sick and stays home from school. I like the way the book has personified anxiety in the form of a ‘worry bug’. The ‘worry bug’ grows as the family’s anxiety increases. Maia’s family eventually sit down and make a plan to deal with their worries, which shrinks the worry bug to almost nothing.
At the back of the book are a series of exercises and advice for families, with websites and contact details for agencies that can offer support. This will appeal to young students who may not be able to express their feelings. The book is very straightforward about the types of worries a family might have, but also provides a solution on how to deal with these concerns. This book has been well thought-out and is backed by clear psychological principles. It will be a useful tool for parents and teachers to help young students deal with the anxieties caused by the earthquakes.
Booklovers
MAIA AND THE WORRY BUG, BY JULIE BURGESS-MANNING, Illustrated by Jenny Cooper
Reviewed by HEIDI NORTH-BAILEY |
Maia and the Worry Bug is a resource designed to help families with mild to moderate anxiety. Designed to be used at home, the plot centres around Maia, a young girl living in Canterbury post-quakes.
Something terrible has happened to Maia’s family, an uninvited Worry Bug has moved in. Having the Worry Bug around is exhausting, and it keeps getting bigger. Maia and her family must work together to get rid of it.
Writer Julie Burgess-Manning is a Family Therapist and NZ Registered Psychologist currently employed by the University of Otago as a Clinical Lecturer and also working in private practice.
The book came about when real-life Maia, who was four when the earthquakes first stuck, had a very hard time coping. Maia’s mum, Sarina Dickson was approached by Burgess-Manning who suggested anxiety might be the cause. After working successfully with Maia, the two decided to create a book to help more children.
Illustrations by Jenny Cooper are suitably terrifying, and the engaging story ramps up in such a way as to clearly demonstrate how small seeming worries can rise up to stifle us.
Maia and the Worry Bug is designed to help families talk together their troubles. It also gives guidance for how to manage them, with exercises for exploring anxiety and it’s effects on us and how to manage it, following the story. These are based on Narrative and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy principles.
This is part two of a two-part resource. Part one is a classroom-based book,Wishes and Worries, consisting of a story and exercises introducing ways to manage anxiety at school.
No family should have to suffer with anxiety, so it’s wonderful that these resources exist.
Maia and the Worry Bug
Burgess-Manning, J. (2015). Kotuku Creative
Reviewed by Kate Cherven, Programme Engagement Specialist at the Mental Health Foundation.
Maia and the Worry Bug is a story and resource book to help families experiencing mild to moderate anxiety manage their worries and understand anxiety better.
The book focuses on the affect the Christchurch earthquakes had on families and the anxiety and change they brought about. But I think the book would be beneficial to any family that is experiencing any kind of difficulties that come with change.
It’s a colourful book with exciting animations that will keep the attention of young kids. I think it’s a lovely story that can help give kids the words they might need in order to explain if, and when, they are feeling anxious, or when they notice their parents have become anxious.
Being American, I think this book would have been wonderful for many parents after the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001.
Toolbox helps families open up
I really enjoyed the family anxiety toolbox at the end of the book for families to see where their stress levels are and how to find ways to open up and talk about their worries.
The toolbox provides a space for families to write down their worries and ask questions like, “What does dad think mum’s worries are?” to help open up conversations for parents and kids to really understand what anxieties they have.
This book also provides space to write down all those worries and lock them away. “This is a way to stop worries from intruding all day long.”
I think this is a lovely book and I plan to get two copies for my nieces and my sisters in the United States.
Dorothy Nada Blog
Maia and the Worry Bug
Burgess-Manning, J. (2015). Kotuku Creative
My beautiful Miss Pink is 6 years old. She is an imaginative and funny little pixie of a child. She has a laugh that you can’t help but laugh along with and a wicked sense of humour. She makes me laugh every day. She loves music, and lives with a magic inside her being which firmly steals the hearts of all who know her and make her a bit of a favourite everywhere she goes.
For all her confidence and strength, she is also an anxious soul. Her anxiety manifests in a few different ways, and often sneaks up on us. We’ve spent a lot of time talking about it over the years and building some strategies that she can work with to help her when she’s feeling anxious. One of the ways that really helps Miss Pink is to have books that she can read to help her understand what anxiety means and to remind her about her strategies.
We were incredibly lucky to be sent copies of Maia and the Worry Bug and Wishes and Worries by the lovely crew at Kotuku Creative. These resources were created in the aftermath of the Christchurch earthquakes to help families who were dealing with anxiety in their homes. While Maia and The Worry Bug (available in te reo here) is designed to be used at home, Wishes and Worries (also available in te reo) is designed for school use. Both books have a lovely story as well as exercises and activities that can be done at home and school to help with anxiety. While the books were written about the Christchurch earthquakes, they are not solely intended for use in Christchurch.
I passed Wishes and Worries on to Miss Pink’s teacher who has read it to the class and used some of the activities to talk about worries with her class. We have read Maia and the Worry Bug at home and it is wonderful – being able to visualise her anxieties as Worry Bugs has helped so much, and we have incorporated this as our main anxiety strategy in our house now. I have been amazed at how much this book has helped Miss Pink in such a short amount of time.
As a counsellor, I have seen how useful it is for children in particular to be able to imagine their anxiety as something external to themselves – children are quick to feel like their quirks make them different to their friends, and it’s a short step from there to believing that there is something wrong with them. For Miss Pink, being able to visualise her anxiety as the worry bug has helped her immeasurably. Her anxiety isn’t gone, but it is manageable and seems to be lessening. I love that the stories have helped her so much, and that there are concrete ideas included on how I can help her! It’s heartbreaking to see your child so anxious and I am thrilled with how much The Worry Bug has helped in our house.
Review by Bob Docherty of Bob's Books 03-03-2016 https://bobsbooksnz.wordpress.com/
Maia & the Worry Bug, Wishes and Worries by Sarina Dickson and Julie Burgess-Manning, Illus. Jenny Cooper. Pub. Kotuku Creative, 2015.
Both these books form part of an anxiety management resource for the home and for the school. They were conceived because children and adults getting stressed and anxious by the Canterbury Earthquakes.
Of course they have wider application than that. Everybody has worries that can be dealt with in the ways described by these two books.
Much has been written and discussed about worrying and anxiety as lately as the Rugby World Cup when Steve Hansen described Worry as a wasted emotion. So it is but it doesn’t stop people worrying.
The facts are that worrying cause children and adults to perform and function below what they are capable of if they were not distracted by worries. My mother always said Que Sera Sera what ever will be will be and others have said you cant worry about things out of your control.
In Maia and The Worry Bug , worry is personified as a bug that can be removed like any other bug and in Wishes and Worries worries are scene as something you recognise and put in a place where they can be changed for the positive.
Good advice and a programe and suggestions of how to manage worries in the home and school. Two books well worth having.
Jenny Coopers illustrations in both books are perceptive and relevant. The facial expressions of the characters say it all.
PEER REVIEW: JUNIOR BOOKS OCTOBER 2015 New Zealand Book Council06-10-2015
Reviews by Librarians, Teachers and Principals of the latest New Zealand books for junior readers
Maia and the Worry Bug
Julie Burgess-Manning, Illustration: Jenny Cooper
Reviewer: Teresa Maguire, Team Leader Years 1-2, Miramar North School
This book has been created in response to the anxieties found in young children following the Christchurch earthquakes. It tells the story of Maia and her family and the appearance of a ‘worry bug’ who comes to stay and causes anxiety amongst all the family members. Mum worries about the family’s safety and fastens furniture to the wall, Dad checks on the family’s emergency supplies and Maia worries so much she feels sick and stays home from school. I like the way the book has personified anxiety in the form of a ‘worry bug’. The ‘worry bug’ grows as the family’s anxiety increases. Maia’s family eventually sit down and make a plan to deal with their worries, which shrinks the worry bug to almost nothing.
At the back of the book are a series of exercises and advice for families, with websites and contact details for agencies that can offer support. This will appeal to young students who may not be able to express their feelings. The book is very straightforward about the types of worries a family might have, but also provides a solution on how to deal with these concerns. This book has been well thought-out and is backed by clear psychological principles. It will be a useful tool for parents and teachers to help young students deal with the anxieties caused by the earthquakes.
Booklovers
MAIA AND THE WORRY BUG, BY JULIE BURGESS-MANNING, Illustrated by Jenny Cooper
Reviewed by HEIDI NORTH-BAILEY |
Maia and the Worry Bug is a resource designed to help families with mild to moderate anxiety. Designed to be used at home, the plot centres around Maia, a young girl living in Canterbury post-quakes.
Something terrible has happened to Maia’s family, an uninvited Worry Bug has moved in. Having the Worry Bug around is exhausting, and it keeps getting bigger. Maia and her family must work together to get rid of it.
Writer Julie Burgess-Manning is a Family Therapist and NZ Registered Psychologist currently employed by the University of Otago as a Clinical Lecturer and also working in private practice.
The book came about when real-life Maia, who was four when the earthquakes first stuck, had a very hard time coping. Maia’s mum, Sarina Dickson was approached by Burgess-Manning who suggested anxiety might be the cause. After working successfully with Maia, the two decided to create a book to help more children.
Illustrations by Jenny Cooper are suitably terrifying, and the engaging story ramps up in such a way as to clearly demonstrate how small seeming worries can rise up to stifle us.
Maia and the Worry Bug is designed to help families talk together their troubles. It also gives guidance for how to manage them, with exercises for exploring anxiety and it’s effects on us and how to manage it, following the story. These are based on Narrative and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy principles.
This is part two of a two-part resource. Part one is a classroom-based book,Wishes and Worries, consisting of a story and exercises introducing ways to manage anxiety at school.
No family should have to suffer with anxiety, so it’s wonderful that these resources exist.
Julie Burgess-Manning discussing techniques for parents managing their children's anxiety, Kotuku Creative's short film 'Everything is Going to be Alright' and Maia and the Worry Bug & Wishes and Worries on CTV on the 5th anniversary of the Christchurch earthquake 22 Feb 2016
http://style.kiwi/styletv-episode-26/
Canterbury Parents Urged to Watch for Anxiety
Online article for OHBaby! Feb 2016
Sarina Dickson discussing Maia and the Worry Bug, Wishes and Worries and the Bloom exhibition on plainsFM 19 Feb 2016
http://plainsfm.org.nz/on-demand/bloom-exhibition-sarena-dickson/
http://style.kiwi/styletv-episode-26/
Canterbury Parents Urged to Watch for Anxiety
Online article for OHBaby! Feb 2016
Sarina Dickson discussing Maia and the Worry Bug, Wishes and Worries and the Bloom exhibition on plainsFM 19 Feb 2016
http://plainsfm.org.nz/on-demand/bloom-exhibition-sarena-dickson/
Radio New Zealand Morning Report July 8 2015
http://www.radionz.co.nz/audio/player/201761553
The Christchurch Press July 8 2015
http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/teach-me/70035112/christchurch-mums-launch-picture-book-for-anxious-kids
Radio New Zealand Article July 8 2015
http://www.radionz.co.nz/news/regional/278213/books-to-help-anxious-christchurch-kids
Star Live July 9 2015
http://starlive.kiwi/video/worry-bug
Christchurch City Libraries Blog
https://cclblog.wordpress.com/2015/07/20/helping-canterbury-kids-with-anxiety/
Smartwork Creative's Blog
http://smartworkcreative.co.nz/the-worry-bug/
Support from National MP and Assoc Earthquake Minister Hon Nicky Wagner
https://nickywagner.national.org.nz/news/2015-07-10-worry-bug-project
Support from Waimakariri National MP Matt Doocey
http://mattdoocey.co.nz/index.php/waimakariri-mp-welcomes-resource-to-tackle-childrens-anxieties/
Booksellers New Releases
http://www.booksellers.co.nz/book-news/new-releases/wishes-and-worries-sarina-dickson
http://www.booksellers.co.nz/book-news/new-releases/maia-and-worry-bug-julie-burgess-manning
Mental Health Foundation E-Bulliten
http://us8.campaign-archive2.com/?u=c4f6b2fca0e12e49c424dea9f&id=9bbd03663b
Healthy Christchurch
http://www.healthychristchurch.org.nz/news/resources-and-information/2015/7/new-books-for-children-for-dealing-with-anxiety-released
There are many symptoms of anxiety. Most people recognise the classic symptoms; worry, fear of things like spiders/dogs/the dark, or for small children, separation from parents or caregivers. But, there are a variety of ways that anxiety is experienced that are not so recognisable. An example of this is when you are worried, you will find it difficult to concentrate or focus on a task. Children may find it difficult to learn new things, or to remember things they have previously learnt. Adults and children experiencing anxiety may seem rude, or dismissive.
Anxiety is often part of family relationships, rather than just a problem for one member of the family. Sometimes though, one family member seems to express their anxiety more than others- either in behaviours or in words. Often, a child is responding to anxiety felt by everyone, not necessarily anxiety that begins with them. For example, you may be worried about leaving your child at school, and you express that in your irritability in the morning and your prolonged cuddle at the school gate. The child will feel this and may respond in kind - reinforcing your thoughts that they are anxious about leaving you too.
A vicious cycle can then develop – and it may not be obvious what triggered the anxious feelings you experienced that day. It may have been concern for an extended family member, a distressing item you heard on the news or work stress for your partner, or perhaps you can’t isolate just one thing.
Addressing anxiety as a family will have a better result for your children than addressing it in one person. Even if your child is the carrier of the anxiety, research shows us that families working with children to manage these symptoms is a lot more effective than the child doing this alone. Looking at anxiety as a family benefits all the members, and best supports the person that needs the most help.
We have a list of agencies here to go to for assistance, but if you are very concerned about your family after reading this checklist through, your first port of call should be your GP.
Assessment of Anxiety
This checklist of symptoms will give you an idea of the extent of anxiety in your family and where it sits (adults/children). Take a note of your answers as you go through each question, so you can do the checklist again at a later date and compare the results.
Worry in the family
Anxiety or worry is present in my family, (how much of the time? and to what extent?)
Mostly the children are worried (tick if correct)
Mostly the adults are worried (tick if correct)
Someone in my family is scared of something specific (Tick which ones and think about how much it affects the person and the family)
the dark
dogs
spiders
public spaces
confined spaces
something else specific
General worries
Someone in my family is scared of something general (if yes, tick which ones and think about how much this affects them and the family)
uncontrollable events
something that is not real
possible risks
generally everything
change
Separation worries Someone in my family is scared of being separated; (think about to what extent the following is true)
The children don’t like to be separate from the adults
The adults in the family don’t like to leave the children anywhere/anywhere new/with friends
The adults don’t allow the children to take risks in ways that we would have prior to the earthquakes
The children won’t go to specific places in the house alone, or outside
“Be careful” worries
We are worried about potential risks; (think about to what extent you are worried and how this has changed your behaviour) - here are some examples
We are often on the look-out for danger
The children often warn us about potential problems
We say “Be careful” often/more than we used to
The children need constant reassurance or attention;
We have changed our lives to keep the children safer, e.g. by curbing independence, by talking more about risk, about always knowing where they are; by giving in more often when we would usually hold our ground, by being more empathic, by allowing children to stay home from school more, by listening more to their worries.
Family climate
Our family emotional climate has changed (how much has it changed? How much resistance would there be to change back? Here are some examples of how it may have changed)
We have changed our family routines, e.g. sleep, eating, toileting
Our style of parenting has changed
We drink more
We smoke more
We argue more
We cry more
We sleep less
We are more irritable/angry
Physical symptoms of anxiety (Think about the extent that family members feel the following)
We have these physical symptoms of anxiety
nausea
sleeplessness
lack of concentration
panic attacks
heart racing
sweating
clumsiness
tummy aches
headaches
fainting
Other symptoms
We have these symptoms too
Checking things,
counting things
washing hands/things
not stepping on cracks
touching things in certain ways
Other things I would like to remember about my family and anxiety at this time (Write them here)
Strengths that our family has (Write them here)
Remember, this is a guide only, not a validated assessment tool.
If you complete this checklist and are very concerned at your answers, please contact your GP and ask for help understanding this. They will be able to refer you to an appropriate service.
You may also like to go to the Massey research site to do a validated assessment tool www.massey.ac.nz/worrybug. You will be able to complete the tool before using the Worry Bug resource, and two times afterwards, giving you an idea about the changes in your family.
Anxiety is often part of family relationships, rather than just a problem for one member of the family. Sometimes though, one family member seems to express their anxiety more than others- either in behaviours or in words. Often, a child is responding to anxiety felt by everyone, not necessarily anxiety that begins with them. For example, you may be worried about leaving your child at school, and you express that in your irritability in the morning and your prolonged cuddle at the school gate. The child will feel this and may respond in kind - reinforcing your thoughts that they are anxious about leaving you too.
A vicious cycle can then develop – and it may not be obvious what triggered the anxious feelings you experienced that day. It may have been concern for an extended family member, a distressing item you heard on the news or work stress for your partner, or perhaps you can’t isolate just one thing.
Addressing anxiety as a family will have a better result for your children than addressing it in one person. Even if your child is the carrier of the anxiety, research shows us that families working with children to manage these symptoms is a lot more effective than the child doing this alone. Looking at anxiety as a family benefits all the members, and best supports the person that needs the most help.
We have a list of agencies here to go to for assistance, but if you are very concerned about your family after reading this checklist through, your first port of call should be your GP.
Assessment of Anxiety
This checklist of symptoms will give you an idea of the extent of anxiety in your family and where it sits (adults/children). Take a note of your answers as you go through each question, so you can do the checklist again at a later date and compare the results.
Worry in the family
Anxiety or worry is present in my family, (how much of the time? and to what extent?)
Mostly the children are worried (tick if correct)
Mostly the adults are worried (tick if correct)
Someone in my family is scared of something specific (Tick which ones and think about how much it affects the person and the family)
the dark
dogs
spiders
public spaces
confined spaces
something else specific
General worries
Someone in my family is scared of something general (if yes, tick which ones and think about how much this affects them and the family)
uncontrollable events
something that is not real
possible risks
generally everything
change
Separation worries Someone in my family is scared of being separated; (think about to what extent the following is true)
The children don’t like to be separate from the adults
The adults in the family don’t like to leave the children anywhere/anywhere new/with friends
The adults don’t allow the children to take risks in ways that we would have prior to the earthquakes
The children won’t go to specific places in the house alone, or outside
“Be careful” worries
We are worried about potential risks; (think about to what extent you are worried and how this has changed your behaviour) - here are some examples
We are often on the look-out for danger
The children often warn us about potential problems
We say “Be careful” often/more than we used to
The children need constant reassurance or attention;
We have changed our lives to keep the children safer, e.g. by curbing independence, by talking more about risk, about always knowing where they are; by giving in more often when we would usually hold our ground, by being more empathic, by allowing children to stay home from school more, by listening more to their worries.
Family climate
Our family emotional climate has changed (how much has it changed? How much resistance would there be to change back? Here are some examples of how it may have changed)
We have changed our family routines, e.g. sleep, eating, toileting
Our style of parenting has changed
We drink more
We smoke more
We argue more
We cry more
We sleep less
We are more irritable/angry
Physical symptoms of anxiety (Think about the extent that family members feel the following)
We have these physical symptoms of anxiety
nausea
sleeplessness
lack of concentration
panic attacks
heart racing
sweating
clumsiness
tummy aches
headaches
fainting
Other symptoms
We have these symptoms too
Checking things,
counting things
washing hands/things
not stepping on cracks
touching things in certain ways
Other things I would like to remember about my family and anxiety at this time (Write them here)
Strengths that our family has (Write them here)
Remember, this is a guide only, not a validated assessment tool.
If you complete this checklist and are very concerned at your answers, please contact your GP and ask for help understanding this. They will be able to refer you to an appropriate service.
You may also like to go to the Massey research site to do a validated assessment tool www.massey.ac.nz/worrybug. You will be able to complete the tool before using the Worry Bug resource, and two times afterwards, giving you an idea about the changes in your family.