Dear Parents, Step-parents, Grandparents, Caregivers and Whanau
Any kind of anxiety can have an impact on children’s development. An influx of adrenalin in response to stress can mean that their brains are unable to settle into learning or be able to moderate their behaviour. Stressed children often come from stressed families, and parents who are stressed cannot settle enough to attend well to their children either.
When you are a parent it is your job to nurture, love, teach and guide your children. Be BIGGER, STRONGER, WISER and MORE PATIENT. It is important that children know that their adults are in charge of their world. If you are worried about the world and feeling out of control, it is harder for your children to feel safe. We don’t have to be perfect parents, just good enough.
Sometimes, the adjustments we make as parents because of the worry we feel, become comfortable. We don’t want to stop them. This is called “accommodation”. We have accommodated our behaviours and the way we live, to the worries. We feel better if we are constantly checking that our kids are safe, or sleeping with them, or not leaving them…However, there comes a time when we need to put these adjustments aside, because the adjustments in themselves begin to cause problems.
The exercises in our books for families 'Maia & the Worry Bug' and 'Rising Tide' are for you as much as for your children. If you engage with them, you may find some ways to lessen your own anxiety. When you do this, anxiety in the family will be lessened. If the children know that you have ways to manage the anxiety as a family, they will be freed up to do normal childhood things like going to school, making and keeping friends and learning new skills.
Warmest regards,
Julie Burgess-Manning and Sarina Dickson
Any kind of anxiety can have an impact on children’s development. An influx of adrenalin in response to stress can mean that their brains are unable to settle into learning or be able to moderate their behaviour. Stressed children often come from stressed families, and parents who are stressed cannot settle enough to attend well to their children either.
When you are a parent it is your job to nurture, love, teach and guide your children. Be BIGGER, STRONGER, WISER and MORE PATIENT. It is important that children know that their adults are in charge of their world. If you are worried about the world and feeling out of control, it is harder for your children to feel safe. We don’t have to be perfect parents, just good enough.
Sometimes, the adjustments we make as parents because of the worry we feel, become comfortable. We don’t want to stop them. This is called “accommodation”. We have accommodated our behaviours and the way we live, to the worries. We feel better if we are constantly checking that our kids are safe, or sleeping with them, or not leaving them…However, there comes a time when we need to put these adjustments aside, because the adjustments in themselves begin to cause problems.
The exercises in our books for families 'Maia & the Worry Bug' and 'Rising Tide' are for you as much as for your children. If you engage with them, you may find some ways to lessen your own anxiety. When you do this, anxiety in the family will be lessened. If the children know that you have ways to manage the anxiety as a family, they will be freed up to do normal childhood things like going to school, making and keeping friends and learning new skills.
Warmest regards,
Julie Burgess-Manning and Sarina Dickson