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Smoke and Mirrors

15/2/2017

3 Comments

 
 For all of us there are some smells and sounds that will always trigger strong and primitive emotions.  The sound of a baby crying moves us to give comfort, the smell of our late grandmother's perfume can bring us to tears, but its not always such pleasant memories that are evoked. 

Today in Christchurch the sky has been filled with smoke and there has been familiar and frightening sounds. Intermittent sirens and helicopters have cut across our consciousness all day.  For me these are the sounds of the days following February 22nd 2011.  Hearing them triggers fear and panic and I've fought to stay in the more reasonable part of my brain, smiling at the children, focusing on keeping my breath and voice steady. At 3pm I hid in the bathroom and cried.

I've been given the privilege of being in the position to help another family tonight by having them stay with us away from the smoke and worry further up the hill.  The kids are whispering to each other on the lounge floor, distracting each other from the own worries about what is happening in the world beyond our home.  My eldest spent the afternoon under her duvet on the couch letting worry wash over in her crashing waves.  Being able to help our dear friends gave her the focus she needed to get a grip of her own Worry Bug, shoving him under the couch she gathered things to comfort our friends.

Earlier tonight, as darkness fell we went quickly back up the hill to gather important things from our friend's home.  People lined the streets along the bottom of the hill.  Some were surely just there to rubberneck, but some I'm sure had their binoculars not on the fire, but on their own homes, watching, waiting, praying that the fire doesn't touch them.  The flames on hill were mesmerising, unchecked and roaring along the ridge.

Tonight we all sleep on tenterhooks, unsure of what we'll find when we wake.  In the morning tempers may be shorter, eyes heavier and small people especially worried.  We'll need to keep to our routines as much as possible, limit their exposure to media about the fire and answer their questions simply and with reassurance. We can let them talk about it but we shouldn't let it take over. We can offer distraction and lots of cuddles. They'll look to us to know what to do and will reflect back what they see.

Most importantly we'll need to mind our own emotions and thoughts and be aware that we will find it harder than usual to stay 'reasonable', especially if deep memories of past trauma are triggered in the coming days.  We'll need to share our adult worries with other adults, seek and offer support where we can.

Kia Kaha Christchurch, sleep tight x



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Sarina Dickson is a Christchurch-based writer, teacher, artist and mother of three. She is passionate about the regeneration of Christchurch, education and the well being of families. Sarina co-authorsThe Worry Bug Project which produces books for children, families and schools focusing on positive classroom culture and mental health. Sarina participated as an artist  in Christchurch Wild in Art event Stand Tall in 2014 and is currently working on a owl for Auckland's Wild in Art event The Big Hoot 2018.
3 Comments
Sarah Smith
16/2/2017 02:37:31 pm

So sad to see Christchurch again bearing the brunt of a natural disaster. Thanks some have for your timely advice and hopefulness, reminding us of what Cantabrians can do to ease their stress and worry. Pleased to hear that new fire personnel are being called in from neighboring regions, to give others relief. Prayers and thoughts are with you all☺️

Reply
Vicky Devine
16/2/2017 04:59:57 pm

OMG you have struck the nail on the head with your comments. Since this fire started I had this feeling of "Déjà Vu", I could not work out why. You have stated it clearly, light bulb moment for me. I have been doing the above limited exposure to media and new reports and answering questions as they arise. I totally agree that helping out other families helps everyone involved, after the Feb EQ we had constant quake visitors in our house and it kept everyone occupied. Prayers and love to those personally effected by the fires Kai Kaha Christchurch.

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Vicky Devine
16/2/2017 05:15:31 pm

"Kia Kaha Christchurch"

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    We all worry and feel anxiety at times in our lives.  Anxiety can impact on children and their families in many ways. The Worry Bug Project seeks to support parents and teachers to recognise and address mild to moderate anxiety.
    ​Sarina Dickson is a parent, author and educator, Julie Burgess-Manning is a parent, author and registered psychologist.

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