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Rising Tide and He Tai Pari head off into schools

20/11/2016

Over the next couple of weeks all the Canterbury schools that have opted in to get the books will have them couriered to them. We worked really hard to connect with the schools, keeping them informed of the aim and use of the books and we're really pleased with the uptake. Below you'll find a list of schools that have chosen to receive the books, for use in Term 1 2017.

Parents, you wont see the books until the beginning of next year. The schools have given us the numbers required based on projected rolls for 2017. In January we'll launch the web based version of the book, which will include full audio in english and te reo and will have supplementary support notes for parents, teachers and therapists.

Families, therapists and schools outside our funded area will be able to purchase unfunded copies from our website shop from the beginning of December.

We're fortunate to have Massey University on board to conduct research into the efficacy of the resources and also to better understand ways in which projects like ours are accepted by, and used by, the community. All schools received postcards, emails and phone calls about the project. Over 130 schools will be receiving the books in the coming fortnight.

The books have had quite a journey. They were initially created from needs arising after the Canterbury earthquakes. On the first day of the print run the factory in Taiwan was hit by a typhoon and then their landing was delayed due to consequences of the Kaikoura earthquake.

Schools Who have OPTED IN to receive the books.

Addington
Aidenfield Christian
Akaroa
Allenvsale Special School
Ao Tawhiti
Ao Tawhiti Unlimited Discovery
Aranui
Bamford
Banks Avenue
Beckenham
Belfast
Bishopdale
Breens Intermediate
Bromley
Burnside
Casebrook Intermediate
Cashmere Primary
Chisnallwood Intermediate
CHCH Adventist
CHCH East
CHCH South Intermediate
Cobham Intermediate
Cotswold
Diamond Harbour
Duvauchelle
Elmwood Normal
Emmanuel Christian
Fendalton
Governers Bay
Halswell Residential
Harewood
Heathcote Valley
Heaton Intermediate
Hoon Hay
Hornby Primary
Ilam
Isleworth
Jean Seabrook Memorial
Kingslea
Kirkwood Intermediate
Linwood College
Linwood Ave
Linwood North
Little River
Lyttelton
Mairehau
Marshland
Medbury
Merrin
Middleton Grange - Primary
Middleton Grange - Intermediate
Mt Pleasant
New Brighton Catholic
Northcote
Nova Montessori
Oaklands
Okains bay
Opawa
Our Lady of Assumption
Ouruhia
PaproaStreet
Parkview
Rawhiti
Redcliffs
Redwood
Riccarton
Rowley Ave
Roydvale
Rudolf Steiner(CHCH)
Russley
Sacred Heart
Selwyn House
Seven Oaks
Shirley Intermediate
Shirley School
Sockburn
Southern Health School
Spreydon
St Albans Catholic
St Andrews
St Annes
St Bernadettes
St Francis of Assisi
St Mary's
St Patricks
St Peters
St Teresas
Tamariki
Te Kura Kaupapa Maori o Te Whanau tahi
Te Kura Kaupapa Maori o Waitaha
Templeton
Te Pa o Rakaihautu
Te Waka Unua
Van asch deaf education Centre
Villa Maria
Wairakei
Waltham
West Spreydon
Yaldhurst
Broadfield
Burnham
Clearview
Darfield
Greendale
Kirwee Model
Leeston
Prebbleton
Rolleston
Southbridge
Springfield
Weedons
West Melton
West Rolleston Primary
Ashgrove
Cust
Kaiapoi Borough
Kaiapoi North
Loburn
Ohoka
Oxford Area
Pegasus Bay
Rangiora New Life
Sefton School
St Patricks Kaiapoi
Tuahiwi
View Hill
Woodend

For more information please see our site, or contact Sarina [email protected]

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Dear Scared Mama...

20/11/2016

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Like all writers I'm also a reader and one particular writer that I love to read is Emily Writes' work. She blogs here, and is the editor of The Spinoff Parents. Following the earthquake on Sunday night she put on a blog post that had me both in tears and stitches, my favourite kind of writing.

The post brought back many memories for me, particularly around mothering through aftershocks and so I wrote to her. I wrote quickly, and from the heart and send it quickly, and also from the heart. And then I shared it on The Worry Bug facebook page because I felt sure she wouldn't be the only Scared Mama. I've been so touched by the responses to the post. One reader wrote 'Finally something I've read since Monday that is actually warm hearted' and it got me thinking about how fundamental human connection is, and how much we desire to be seen, heard and listened to.

There is a fantastic opinion by Kyle McDonald in The Herald this morning that reiterates those feelings. He writes 'So let's not preach about resilience, it's tantamount to declaring people need to "get over it". Instead, let's expect vulnerability, and the need to talk about and express the fear and uncertainty.' (Full piece here)

We need to remember to take care of ourselves, in order for us to be able to support others, particularly those in our care. And to take it easy on ourselves.

Dear Scared Mama

So this week isn’t what you had planned is it? You probably already had the grocery list half formed, the nagging feeling you’d forgotten someone’s birthday and had just remembered you hadn’t got around to removing whatever had died under the passenger seat as you drifted off on Sunday night.

But now some days have passed, that thing is still mouldering in the car, it’s too late to send a card and there’s no way you’re going to the supermarket today, it’s too far from home right now. There’s no space in your head for any of that trivia now anyway. Now your focus lies elsewhere. Your mind, and with it your body, is far more concerned with any unfamiliar sound, keeping your children in arm’s reach and obsessively checking geonet.
If you thought you were tired before you’re shocked at the new level of weariness that has settled into your bones. Your teeth begin to hurt, you unclench your jaw and it passes. Sometimes you forget a word, especially one often used, you wonder if this time you really are losing it.

You suddenly have a deep understanding of what the expression ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ means, except it’s not falling shoes you’re worried about, it’s the bedroom mirror, or the wardrobe…or the roof.
‘They take their cue from you’ people will say, helpfully. While you’re using everything you’ve got to hold it together no-one will let you forget, as if you could, that you have to hold them together too. You’ll cry some hard, hot tears in the bottom of the shower and feel homesick for last week.

‘They take their cue from you’? Well, tomorrow they might get something better than that, tomorrow they might get to see their strong Mama lose her shit in the middle of the supermarket, and in the chaos find her feet again and move through her fear to a few moments of something more familiar.

You’ll need more cups of sweet strong tea, more naps and a lot more Alexander Skarsgard. More sticky-warm, chubby-armed hugs, more talking about it, more gentleness with yourself. You might need a top up, a lie in and a gingernut.
From one Mama to another, this too shall pass. In his warm sleeping breath on your neck, it will pass. In a topless shot of Ben Affleck, it will pass. At the bottom of a glass of pinot, it will pass. And while you’re waiting, we wait with you. In the collective noun of Motherhood up and down the country we’re all holding our breath. I think we’ve got this, and if it gets worse…we’ll mother our way through that too.

Best wishes from Christchurch,

You can read Emily's blog post here, I particularly recommend it if you have strong feelings either way for Ben Affleck.

Written by Sarina Dickson get in touch [email protected]

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Helping Ourselves by Sharing our Expertise

15/11/2016

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Turn those worries to wishes, fight that worry bug!
Cantabrians are earthquake experts. We at the Worry Bug thought that one way we could contribute to the families in Kaikoura and Hurunui needing to manage continuing aftershocks, would be to crowd source some help from you lot that have been through them so many times.
So, in the spirit of the books we brought you;
Ask your children to think about the worries that the Kaikoura and North Canterbury children might have now, and turn these into wishes for them -
Think about the ways that you stomped on the worry bug and stopped it creating more havoc in your lives and remind us how you did it - how you still do it…
Write your ideas here on our feed and we will send them off.
Of course there’s an ulterior motive here. We know that helping out others is one of the five ways to well-being that All Right? has promoted - it enables us to take our mind off our own concerns and feel some empowerment at being able to contribute. And, more simply, it will remind you and your children of the things that you do that help when you are scared.

To start the ball rolling;
We turn the telly off the news and onto a cool movie
We eat yummy and satisfying food that we prepare together
We get outside and get physically active

Please check us out on Facebook and share your ideas on our wall x

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Supporting the Whole Family Through Shaky Times

14/11/2016

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So, another big earthquake, followed by several more. As you look after yourselves and your family today, here’s some tips for minimising the impact on yourselves mentally;

You know your family well, trust your instincts about how you need to respond to them.

When disasters happen we tend to get swept along with the media frenzy, but
repetition of disaster scenes is not good for kid’s (or adults) brains - they can’t rationalise that it’s not happening again and again, so limit access to media.

It’s so easy for life to be disrupted after a shake like this, but it is important that kids experience life keeping on as normal in spite of it, so keep your normal routines as much as you can; get up, get dressed, have breakfast, do your chores! If your kids’ school is open and they are ok, take them.

If you have had to evacuate, try to normalise your situation into your normal routines as much as you can. Let your tamariki know what is happening but make decisions as adults, use distraction to divert kids’ attention from the situation, engage them in activities, lighten the conversation, don’t dwell on panic. Older kids (adolescents) will probably respond well to being included in some planning, it will give them some sense of control. But be the adult in charge, even if you’re feeling wobbly on the inside.

Use a strong, slow and low tone of voice to bring down stressed kids or adults; when we are panicked we tend to use a higher and faster tone.

Eating well is important for managing in stressful times, continue to have the food that you know supports your body and mind.

Use breathing exercises if you are feeling panicky. Focus on your breath, slow it as it goes in and out, become mindful of what is happening around you and how your body feels, look at the sky, the trees, listen to the sound around you, inhale the smells, come into the present, don’t attend to your thoughts for a minute.

Rest when you need to and be mindful that the children might need more downtime than usual. And most importantly take care of yourself. Ask for support if you need it.

Julie Burgess-Manning is a Family Therapist and NZ Registered Psychologist who has studied and practiced in England and throughout New Zealand. She has worked in a variety of child, adolescent and family mental health settings for the past 18 years, with roles such as Senior Clinician, Therapist, Clinical Supervisor and Primary Mental Healthcare Liaison.

[email protected]

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How can Therapists use The Worry Bug books; Maia & the Worry Bug, Wishes and Worries and the soon to be launched Rising Tide.

9/11/2016

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As a family therapist and psychologist, I have seen many children and adolescents struggle withanxiety. My take on treatment comes from a mixture of frameworks and evidence that I have applied, made mistakes with and had some success.

Firstly; anxiety sits within systems of behaviour and relationships. We cannot not communicate, so when a child communicates something they are worried about to a parent, there will inevitably be some kind of response and this response can become part of a relationship pattern. For instance, if my child is worried about monsters under the bed, I cannot help but have a response to that. My response becomes part of the anxiety system around her. That system can determine whether anxiety is maintained or extinguished. So when I see anxiety in a child, I also look at the systems of relationships and behaviour that are around the symptom. How do people in the family respond to anxious behaviours? How is the anxiety maintained? How is it extinguished? Who else in the family exhibits anxiety? Is there an acceptable level of anxiety in this family?

Secondly; young children cannot manage anxiety alone. It is not “their anxiety”. As with any difficulty, parents need to be in charge of how anxiety is managed. Involving parents or caregivers in the management of anxiety is critical in my opinion, and much research would support this. Even if a parent has some anxiety themselves, having them in the room means that the effects that they may have on their child re modelling or through relationships, may be mitigated directly by the therapist. (See Negreiros and Miller 2014 for a thorough discussion of the role of parenting in childhood anxiety.

In Rising Tide, Sarina and I have used a cognitive behavioural therapy framework, paired with ideas from social constructionism, specifically round dominant stories - or schemas. We have stepped up the level from the Worry Bug material, to be more appropriate to this age group. We envisage this resource being used firstly at school and then going home to the family. In this way, the resource is supported by two important systems of relationship for the child. As with any therapy, the relationship is a critical part of success.

The therapist support resources for Rising Tide will be available online for free. Please use it as you see fit - it will obviously be changed by your own context, by the family and children that you see, by cultural and gender factors and many other influences. That is how it is meant to work - clinical judgement is a valid and useful part of our practice - we cannot just apply manualised treatments for example, without thought as to how the family will receive them, and how best to adjust them to suit. So, have fun with it and please, let us know how you have used it, what works and what doesn’t.

Rising Tide and He Tai Pari will be available for purchase via our website from early December for $19.90. The web based version with english and te reo audio and professional development resources will be available in the new year.

Written by Julie Burgess-Manning. Get in touch [email protected]

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Rising Tide and He Tai Pari head off into schools

Dear Scared Mama...

Helping Ourselves by Sharing our Expertise

Supporting the Whole Family Through Shaky Times

How can Therapists use The Worry Bug books; Maia & the Worry Bug, Wishes and Worries and the soon to be launched Rising Tide.

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